Growth: The journey of growth will be unpleasant, but that’s the only way you level up. Do you want to be great like MJ was in The Last Dance ? Sweet! Don’t hesitate to buy your first-class ticket to these destinations: The Republic of unpleasantness, the United States of confusion, and loneliness island. Do have a safe flight, and enjoy your trip 🙂 Pick up a copy of How Successful People Grow before you head on the plane.
Mind: Mindsets of the rich and the poor are very different, and I believe this is why these two sets of people can’t be friends. There’s a popular saying that goes, ‘When a pickpocket sees a saint, all he sees are the pockets’-this quote suggests to me that the pickpocket is a thief, regardless of who the target is, he will steal because that’s what a STEALER does. A lot can be said here, but I’ll save you the words. Instead, watch the movie Parasite if you haven’t seen it already.
Money: As I reflected on the past 30 years, it became clear to me that my various experiences have generated more of my happiness than buying things. While it may feel nice having a closet full of nice shoes, having a memory full of wonderful experiences shapes who you are and who you aspire to be- Trust me, that’s a nice pillar to lean on during challenging times! (err, like a pandemic?). My favorite shoes are the Air Jordan III Cement (pictured above). Contrary to what you may have thought, it wasn’t my dog who tore up my jays. These shoes got worn out just from being on the shelf. Although I can’t explain why this happened, it’s a timely lesson to remember what truly matters in life, if you ask me. Overall, I would say giving or spending money on others, fills one with a deeper sense of joy- thats something experiences cannot give. That being said, to any sneaker-heads and generous souls reading this, feel free to lace yours truly with a fresh pair of AJ 3 cement in a US size 11. Here’s my gift to you in return
Attitude: A great attitude to living means having the ability to get over oneself. To achieve this state of mind, one would have to master the art of getting out of your way. It means refusing to engage a victim mindset, self-sabotage, or any other negative mind-states towards the self for that matter. Cultivating a great attitude entails winning the inner negotiation, so to speak. And once you win this inner battle, the outer negotiations become a breeze- that alone makes it worth every effort to attain. Read Getting to Yes with Yourself and listen to ‘the OG of personal development’, Earl Nightingale’s talk on attitude. Kindly note I’m personally responsible for at least 1,000 of the views on this video.
Career/ Employment: Jobs are not made for you to change them, is a truth that is somewhat hard to swallow, but it shouldn’t be. This is why I believe if you want to change things where you’ve been hired to work, you could be much better off starting your own company. If you want that change, fine. But first, do indulge in some realistic thinking- I didn’t say quit your job right now ooo. What I AM saying is to review your career, identify your weaknesses and blind spots, learn from your mistakes and create a plan that suits your fulfilment. Add read Before you Quit your Job by Robert Kiyosaki to your self-employment to-do list. Also, learn about the Dunning-Kruger Effect to appraise yourself. Through awareness of this bias in myself, I decided to work for others before starting my entrepreneurship journey.
Beware of Self: You are your greatest enemy- THAT IS until you train yourself not to be. To overcome this great threat to your wellbeing, you’ll need to learn to love yourself by self-acceptance. Alternatively, you could pay someone to teach you self-respect (like a coach or therapist). And then there’s my favorite option- which is to get yourself a dog. Honestly, our four-legged friends can be quite heart-warming, and we can learn from them 🙂 Also, read The Four Agreements regularly.
Locus of Control: Accepting change makes everything so much easier *inserts serenity prayer* I feel like we, as humans don’t like change, and commonly try our best to resist it. But change always happens- sometimes for good, sometimes for the worst. That being said, to help make your peace with change, read the short-book, ‘Who moved my Cheese‘ regularly.
Using time wisely/relationships: WHO YOU SPEND YOUR TIME WITH is the greatest success (or failure) hack I’ve seen. Treat this area of your life exactly like you should treat your investment portfolio- assess your positions regularly, not obsessively and whatever you do never leave things to chance. Similarly, read this earlier post for ideas to prepare yourself financially for the last 3 months of the year.
Resilience: A lot of success is just minimising mistakes- success is guaranteed from failing so much that you’ve made almost all the mistakes possible. ‘Suddenly‘, success becomes the ONLY alternative. The reality is that you learn more from failure than you do from success. So, congratulations to you on your upcoming losses. Stay strong, remain resilient- I cannot wait to celebrate with you!
Happiness: Here’s the good news- IT IS POSSIBLE to be happy all the time. AND I’m going to tell you exactly how to do it. You achieve constant happiness by a commitment to being responsible for how you feel ALL the time-not sometimes, but all 24 hours a day and 365 days of the year. And not even your boss, your wife, girlfriend, best friend, twin sibling or favorite sports team should share the responsibility for this happiness. It’s all on YOU, champ! That’s what it takes- an unshakeable commitment to controlling your emotional destiny. Remember that if you fail (which you WILL time and time again), laugh at yourself, then rinse and repeat by getting back to being responsible for your happiness. Control your feelings, or have your feelings control you. Finally, grab a copy of How to be Happy all the Time for your coffee table, and flip through it regularly. Bye for now.
I wish A HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY to all my Nigerian brothers and sisters!